I am a home inspector. I used to be a computer programmer, but lost my job due to the downturn in the economy. I saw a TV commercial one night, stating that I could make over $150K/year inspecting homes. I decided to give it a whirl. I logged onto a website, entered my credit card information and one week later, a box arrived in the mail. Inside, were 100 carbon copy, 8-page checklist reports and an instruction manual.  I read the manual from cover to cover and inspected my own home. I simply checked the boxes stating that everything was satisfactory and BAM!...I had just done a home inspection. That was easy. I returned to the website, took an easy on-line test and they sent me a logo I could use on my business cards and website. Looks real good too….looks professional! Anything that could possibly be wrong with a home is printed on my checklists….I just have to put a check mark next to the right one.

 

I had most of the tools I needed in my garage. I didn’t need a really tall ladder because I don’t go onto roofs  (There’s a small disclaimer in the report that says you should get a roofer anyway).  I hooked up with a company that performs bundled inspections, so a roofer goes onto the roof and I don't worry about it.

 

I can drive my old pick-up truck. I got myself a magnetic sign to stick on the side of the door. Since funds were low, I decided not to get insurance. It isn’t required anyway, so why bother. No one asks if I have insurance anyway. I did not have enough to print marketing materials and I made business cards on my computer. I looked on craigslist and saw that some home inspectors were charging $195. I thought I’d undercut them all and charge $175. Man was that a great idea! I placed a free ad and Realtors started calling like crazy and I was swamped with business.

 

Realtors love me! No one ever asks me if I have insurance or how long I had been an inspector. All they wanted to know is “how much?” and since I was the cheapest, I got the job. I was in and out of most homes in an hour. One day I did 5 inspections! Most clients didn’t know the first thing about construction and I was rarely asked difficult questions. About once a month, I would get a phone call from an angry client, stating that I missed something. In almost every case, I could look into my inspection manual and find a disclaimer on the report stating that I was not required to report on that or it was beyond the scope of the inspection.

 

If you read all of the fine print on my report, you’ll see that somewhere contained therein, it says I am not a specialist and everything should be reviewed anyway. I could get out of every predicament. I have a line in my inspection contract that states that I am only liable for the cost of the report and that’s it. Even though it's a violation of the CA Business and Professions Code to try and limit my liability to the cost of the inspection, no one knows that. I have given back the $175 a few times. Oh well, that’s the cost of doing business. Several people have threatened to sue me, but it hasn’t happened yet. I hope I never really get sued, because I have no insurance and I’ll probably have to disappear. I hope a child never gets killed because I didn’t report a low guard rail or someone doesn’t trip and break a hip because I didn’t point out an improper step. I feel sorry for the Realtor who referred me, who will be on the end of that lawsuit.

Things are going great. The phone is ringing and I am doing 3-4 inspections per day. It’s funny though….I never get calls from actual clients….it’s always Realtors. I was once told that Realtors can sign my inspection agreement, so most of the time, I never meet the home buyers. Most of the houses I inspect are bank owned and thrashed anyway, so what I’m doing is just a formality. The Realtors always tell me that the clients don’t speak English or are at work. Sometimes I wish the clients would show-up. That would eliminate many phones calls I get, from angry clients who didn’t understand that the checkbox marked “unsatisfactory” meant that it didn’t work. They just thought it didn’t look good.

Oh well, there goes another $175.

 

 

 

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